I look back on where I was at this time last year, and I now realize that I had it easy.

I don't think I've ever been this low. I had a packed day today. Class, work, then another class. A long walk home.
But I don't remember any of it.
I know it actually happened, but it feels like a dream.
I've had no appetite. I've been running on coffee and cigarettes, until I finally ate something at 8:00PM.
I have a constant headache that just won't go away. No matter how tired I am, I find it hard to fall asleep. My mind's always racing. Always trying to figure a way out of the mess that I'm trapped in.
I saw myself in the mirror today. I look at myself everyday before I leave the house, but today.. I actually saw myself. I look like death. My skin is almost a shade of yellow, my eyes are puffy and sunken into dark circles.. My weight has dropped, and I just look... unhappy. No amount of make-up can fix that.

I owe the University $4,083.72.

I don't have a goddamn clue how I'm going to pay for that.
My parents are "helping". And by "helping" I mean they transfer money whenever they feel like it... I'm not the priority. The house is the priority. My brothers are the priority. If there's any leftover change, they'll transfer it to the University.
I have 5 full-time University classes. And I'm working over 30 hours per week, while going to school. No one in their right mind does that.
And I don't hear any thank you's. I don't hear any praise, or "keep up the good work"... Nothing. What do I get? "You should have saved up more during the summer."

They told me to save up what I could. And that's exactly what I did. I stopped the shopping trips, I stopped racking up my phone bill, I stopped EVERYTHING. I worked over 60 hours a week... I threw away my whole summer. But that's still not good enough.

I don't know what else I have to do to make them realize that I am DYING. I can't handle anything anymore. I know there's something wrong with me. I'm almost positive.

When my brothers stay in their room all day and act solemn and whatnot, my mother pities them. She feels sorry for them, and will go out of her way to find out what's wrong so she can fix it.
With me? Nope. I'm just a rebellious devil-child purposely trying to make her life a living hell.

Every single day, I consider dropping out of all my courses, getting my money back from the University, and just packing up and leaving. Go to Montreal, Toronto, Halifax, Vancouver... and just start a whole new life. Ottawa hates me just as much as I hate it, and I just can't stay here anymore...

Ugh. I forgot where I was going with this. Time to sleep, or try to.